“Data Security Alert”
That’s the title of a recent e-mail from a well-known vendor. Said vendor shall go nameless in order to protect the the guilty.
So…my first response might be, “Cool! They’re alerting me, my data is secure!” But, oh, wait…that response would indulge my tendency to be self-absorbed. Perhaps a better response might be, “Cool! They’re alerting me, their data is secure!” Although…why I would care their data is secure is beyond me.
A better title would be, “Data Insecurity Alert”. This I decided after reading the e-mail. But I decided otherwise, on second thought. Don’t want to say their data has emotional problems. “Data Breach Alert”, would be best, I decided. Yet, again, I decided otherwise on second thought. Would want to be clear whose data we’re talking about. “Alert: Possible Breach of Your Data”, would be good, I then decided.
Yet, what would be best, is, “Your Identity May Have Been Stolen!”.
But that would be speculation. Must stick to the facts.
So, I decided, “Alert: Possible Breach of Your Data” would be best.
That’s my story. And this time, I’m stickin’ to it.